Spring Break Musings, Mostly

4-8-09 First of all, I would like to wish my parents a very happy birthday. Mom's birthday was last Friday (don't worry, I've already told her multiple times happy birthday near the date), and Dad's birthday is today. Happy birthday to the both of you!

We've been on spring break this week, and let me tell you, it has been a very much appreciated and needed break. I don't completely understand what makes students so antsy, but I was glad when they were sent home after school last Wednesday for break. I also don't understand completely why break is in the first full week of April, considering that there is only five weeks and two days left of classes when we start school back up on Monday. Five weeks, two days of finals, and then ten days until I fly out from the airport on Kwajalein. You can do the math if you want. I haven't beyond what is written right there.

I haven't done much during break--a lot of sleeping, anyway, and I've cleaned and made meals and gone shopping and such. Just the routine minus teaching every day, for the most part. The seniors, Jhan Dale, Jordan, and Megan have been on the senior class trip to Pohnpei, and so I have been putting my new-learned cooking skills to the test this week. I am very thankful that Megan has been here--my meals this week have been, I think, generally good. And that's exciting.

I have done a lot of thinking, though. We were at vespers last Friday night and sang the hymn, "Trust and Obey." Now, I've known most of that song for a very long time, and I've definitely known the chorus by memory since childhood. The chorus is as follows, "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey." I don't know how many times I've sung that song, but I do know one thing most definitely: it's true.

When I was in India, I learned that trust and joy are connected, but I hadn't figured out HOW they were connected or WHY they were connected. Well, here on Ebeye, I have learned that trust and joy are connected through obedience. My handy-dandy computer dictionary defines "obedience" as a noun that means "the compliance with someone's wishes or orders or acknowledgment of their authority." Since I have spent at least most of the year explaining definitions to students, my mind mentally translates this into "doing what someone higher than us tells us to do." Nowhere in either definition says that the obey-er knows why they have been told to do what they're doing. Certainly, sometimes they are told, but I think it's on a need-to-know basis.

The word "trust," however, has two interesting aspects to it. One, its first definition in my handy-dandy dictionary is "the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something." That's all well and good, but then I get down to where it talks about the history of the word--my dictionary says that its origin is in Middle English, but that it's originally from the Old Norse word traust, from traustr, or 'strong.' When I discovered this, I was in India and studying one of the Psalms where it talks about man putting his trust in the Lord. In my mind, that phrase coupled with the origin of the word would mean that a person is putting their strength in the Lord.

So, when people trust God, they are putting their strength in Him. They believe that He is strong. He may not always tell them why He's told them to do something, but they trust Him and do it anyway. They obey. I am convinced that God has us do things that are in and for our best interests. He truly does have our best interest at heart, and, so, when we obey, it's an enjoyable thing. Granted, that's not always the case, for many times when we obey, things don't go the way we wanted to, or the reaction we wished for isn't the reaction that occurred. Sometimes doing the right thing isn't doing the easy thing. Sometimes we privately think, "I don't understand. Why is God doing this? Is He crazy?" Sometimes we ask people the same questions. Hopefully we ask God.

While I was pondering all this, I thought of the prophet Jeremiah. That man had it rough, in my opinion. He's chosen by God and given a message that God tells him to proclaim, but also tells him that people will not accept--and because they won't accept the message, they'll also reject the prophet. From all I've read, Jeremiah was a young guy when God told him all that--and let me tell you, young people (myself included) want to be liked and accepted, so that was probably tough to hear. Years later, Jeremiah is hanging out in a prison in a besieged Jerusalem, and God comes to him and says, "Hey, Jeremiah, redeem the field that your cousin comes to ask you to redeem." (At least, I believe that's the gist of what the Lord told him.) Jeremiah does so. He trusts God, so he obeys.

But Jeremiah doesn't understand. As soon as the transaction is completed, he prays to God for understanding. It's a good long prayer, too, found in Jeremiah 32:17-25. For the most part, Jeremiah is asking, "God, I don't understand. You've had me proclaiming that this city, that this land, is going to fall to the Chaldeans. The place is surrounded by siege mounds, what You've decreed is going to take place. But You had me buy a field! Why, God? Are you crazy? The city's about to fall!"

God understands that we cannot see all that He sees. I think He knows that when we ask if He's crazy, we really mean that we are confused about the whys and hows of the situation (things that God excels in). God comes to Jeremiah, and says, "Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?" (Jeremiah 32: 27). In my mind, it's like God saying, "Jeremiah, I'm not crazy. I know what I'm doing. Just trust me. In fact, Me telling you to buy that field is a GOOD thing. It's something to rejoice about. Let Me tell you why..." and so God tells Jeremiah that his people will come back to the land.

Joy despite siege mounds and looming captivity. Obedience despite human misgivings and misunderstandings. Trust despite possible signs for the contrary.

How else would Jeremiah be able to proclaim in the midst of weeping that God's faithfulness is great (Lamentations 3:23)? How else would he have survived through being imprisoned and rejected and hated for the unpopular message he proclaimed? How else, but that God strengthened him because he put his strength in the Lord? How else, but that Jeremiah obeyed even when it didn't seem like it was the smartest thing to do?

God tells us things on a need-to-know basis. I think that it's partially because we couldn't handle all the details at once. He does it for our own good, for our best interests. The more of ourselves we give to Him, the more of ourselves He gives back to us more fully alive. The more we put our strength in Him, the less we have to worry about everything. He takes care of it. (That doesn't mean we should sit back and let God do everything; God does expect us to do our part, but that isn't what I'm talking about at the moment.) He lets me deal with what I can deal with, and then He says, "I've got you covered. Now relax and be joyful!"

I don't know if I can accurately put what I'm thinking into the written word. But check out the lyrics of "Trust and Obey." I think they aptly describe what I'm talking about. After all, it's where the idea was clinched for me.

What all this thinking translates into is trying to live my life in that way, trying to live where I put my strength in God (where I trust Him), where I obey what He says, and then live through Him with whatever happens and get the joy that comes through Him and not through anything else. If I am receiving joy from the True Source of joy, then I don't need to let misbehaving children or bad news or whatever dictate my feelings and my days. I can be joyful despite the Enemy's siege mounds because I can obey whether I understand or not, and because I can trust whether I see or not. And that's applicable both here on Ebeye and at home.

More later.